4-month Endo Visit

I see my Endo about once every 4 months (she’s usually booked so far out that I can’t get in by 3 months, so 4 it is)  Anyways, let me start by saying I love my endo.  She is awesome.  Not only do we have a good doctor/patient relationship, but I know her on a professional level.  Probably a lot longer than I have known her as my physician…  I work for a hospital and she and her staff are in a nearly daily contact with my department.  Not only that, they request that me, and only me, handle their patients.  So, yeah, she knows who I am and what I do and that apparently, I am good at it.  So, long story short, I really respect this woman and her abilities as a physician.

I have been seeing her as a patient for nearly a year now (I have seen her as a patient nearly a decade ago while hospitalized, but never in her clinical office).  Anyways, I go in for my routine visit.  Office staff, also knowing who I am and what I do, not only for her, but other physicians in the practice, are always stopping to talk shop with me.  I really do feel comfortable in this setting.  Routine weigh in, medication check, BP check…glucose check skipped b/c her normal nurse isn’t there.  Fine by me.  I wear a Dexcom, I know where I stand…as does my doctor.

At any rate, my doctor walks in and thanks me for helping me with her patients, as she always does.   Then it comes to me and my health.  MY A1C is in “target” range, as it has been for the last 4 A1C checks.  The last one was the exact same as this one, and the 2 before that were 0.4 lower than those.  Well apparently this is still too low for her comfort and she is not really happy with it.  I am accepting of her input and expertise, but I know that it really is a little low for me.  I do rather it be a little low than a little high, but I think the immediate access to glucose date with Dexcom is hurting me just as much as it is helping me.  I see that I am elevating at fast rate, and I can’t help but want to correct that.  I don’t really have a whole lot of lows, but I guess even with all the highs I see on my Dexcom as well as my glucose meter, there are just as many lower readings if not more that more than level out the result of my A1C.  I can not sit here and complain.  I know most PWDs would trade places with my numbers in a heartbeat, but I am honestly struggling.  Strike number 1.

Strike number 2…I am over-correcting,,,see Strike number 1.

Strike number 3…I have gained 8 pounds in the last 4 months…No, that extreme.  Am I obese?  No.  Am i overweight?  Yes.  Am I struggling with this?  EVERY day.  I have been going to the gym 4+ days a week for weeks now.  I have been watching EVERY thing that I eat?  YES.  Has any of it helped?  NOPE.  Am i at the end of my rapidly fraying rope?  Getting there.  Do I keep on trying?  Yes, because is there really a choice here?  Yes, because the alternate to me right now is diabulemia relapse.

Strike Number 4 – I am requested to see an Ophthalmologist. Not that there is anything wrong, but having T1D for going on 2 decades, she is right. This is just not what I wanted to hear at the end of this visit. I completely get it, it just feels like one more thing that I have to add to my checklist of things that have to be done at some sort of routine interval. It’s par for the course and mostly a preventative measure. This is what nearly sent me onto diabetes overload this afternoon.

One day at a time,

One. Day. At. A. Time.


Certainly you MUST be mistaken

Same ould every day, ok night, bedtime BG check…5, 4, 3, 2, 1…29. Wait, WHAT? There’s no way. Let’s try that again shall we? Poke…5, 4, 3, 2, 1…33. HUH? Even though i didn’t really feel low…and Dexcom wasn’t showing low or dropping and any ridiculous rate, these numbers were just not computing.
I was not alone, thankfully, but I didn’t feel like one should feel with a BG in the low 30’s range. The last time I had a reading in the 30’s, I woke up in the ER. Freaked out much? Um, yes. So I grabbed a glass and poured it full of OJ and downed it. Then and only then did I start to feel bad. My usual low symptoms of sweaty, shaky and still a little confused. Finally getting my thoughts as straight as they were going to be at the time, I decided to eat something. Instead of just drinking juice. For me, If i have something with protein or long lasting carbs, that tends to keep me more stable, especially over night.
Or NOT. I had Dex wake me up another 3 times over night with low alarms. Seriously in need of more caffeine this morning. I think what scares me most is that even with a CGM, I must have been crashing really quick for the Dexcom not to catch up…how much longer did I have before I would have been symptommatic or even just pass out.
Oh well, just another T1D day.

4th Annual Diabetes Blog Week – 5/15/13 – Day 3

Today’s Prompt:
Today we’re going to share our most memorable diabetes day. You can take this anywhere…. your or your loved one’s diagnosis, a bad low, a bad high, a big success, any day that you’d like to share. (Thanks to Jasmine of Silver-Lined for this topic suggestion.)

My most memorable day in 17+ years in living with Type 1 Diabetes was actually just within the last couple of months. I have touched on this in previous posts, but it is important. I woke up Easter Sunday morning. Thank God that I woke up. I honestly thought I was dreaming. I was laying down, covered by a sheet, almost completely. The sheets were actually covering my eyes. I knew I was waking up though. I remember holding on to the sheets, but not moving them. I remember seeing a post on the wall. I had always been told that you can’t read words or see numbers when you are asleep or dreaming. Which, ok, whatever. But I could read everything on the poster. At that point I realized there was an armband around my wrist. I picked it up to my head so I could read it. Still not moving the sheets mind you. I saw my name and patient code of EMS. I happen to work at this hospital so I knew what it meant and I knew then that it was real. I still didn’t know why I was there though. I sat straight the hell up. I remember them calling my name and telling me to lay back down. “UM, no but thank you. What is going on?” I do remember neither my boyfriend or my mother was there, and I was just lost. I needed someone. They said they were both in the waiting room. “Thanks but get one of them back here, and by the way, how long have I been here?” “Oh only about ten minutes.” Seriously. That’s it. Ok. Well my boyfriend came back and told me what had happened. I was in shock, I really was. He said I was moving around in bed and pretty much hitting him. It woke him up. He definitely realized what was going on and why I was acting like I was. He grabbed my kit and tested my, took a couple of tries, but finally got it. He got readings of 40 mg/dl and thereabouts. He grabbed my glucose gel and tried to get me to take some but even though my eyes were open, no one was home. This didn’t work. He called my mom and she drove over. Keep in mind this is all in the wee hours of the morning. She got in my face and couldn’t get me to respond. That was it. He grabbed me, threw me over his shoulder, and brought me to the ER. We were literally minutes away and 911 would have taken forever and a day, plus he knew I would be pissed if I found out I was brought over in an ambulance for some reason.
At any rate, this day will not soon fade from my memory. And I am more grateful than words could ever express that he was home when I needed him. See, he works as an engineer offshore. So he is only home with me for half of our lives together. I don’t know what I would have done without him. I just know I would have been another case of the increasing cases of “Dead in Bed” that is coming up more and more. It’s just unthinkable how fortunate I am to have him. And I try to let him know that every chance I get. He has stuck with me for nearly 10 years now, and I can only pray that he keeps putting up with me and everything that is entailed of my complicated crap disease. I, also am greatfull to the ER doc and the nurses that finally were able to find a line to give me emergency medications via IV. “Did you know you have no veins?” No, really tell me more.

4th Annual Diabetes Blog Week – 5/1413 -Day 2

Today’s prompt: Recently various petitions have been circulating the Diabetes Online Community, so today let’s pretend to write our own. Tell us who you would write the petition to – a person, an organization, even an object (animate or inanimate) – get creative!! What are you trying to change and what have you experienced that makes you want this change? (Thanks to Briley of inDpendence for this topic suggestion.)

I have to admit, I’m either completely out of creativeness or a completely bring person. I’ll be honest. There isn’t too much I would change at the moment. Even though my life with T1D is now approaching it’s 17th year anniversary, for most of it I was in complete denial and didn’t care. I took my shots, usually, but I never and I honestly mean never checked my blood sugars. Quite frankly, contemplating on the past, I am damn lucky to even be alive. I had an awakening. I was happy, really, in the past. I stayed decently thin. I never had to exercise, or for that matter watch what I ate. Nothing, and stayed thin. Didn’t give a damn that I was probably doing irreversible damage to my body. But for a good 10+ years I lived like this. How could I not. Positive reinforcement was abundant, even though it was coming from people who had no earthly idea that I was suffering from what they now call diabulemia. I had learned to live with always having something to drink nearby. Learned to deal with always bring tired. Learned to live and deal with it all. My awakening came when I was so deeply into a severe metabolic acidosis or severe DKA. I knew it, I just didn’t want to admit it. I went to work, because I never called in sick, like ever. One Friday afternoon after getting off from work, I could not breathe. My mother noticed it. She said lets go to the ER. No really I was fine. I couldn’t even walk to the car. I finally surrendered. I knew I was dead over the weekend if I didn’t do something. I went to the ER, was admitted to ICU and several days later, I was able to go home again. I finally at the ago of 30 and after 10-15 years of denial and ignoring what I didn’t want to acknowledge, it was over. I grew up. I took responsibility for me. I went to the doctor regularly. I got my regular labs. I was a “good diabetic” for the first time since high school. All went well. Until about six weeks ago. Wake up in the ER from a severe nocturnal hypoglycemic episode. CRAP. Well that’s what happens I guess. After I delved into the vast DOC that is here now, non-existent when I was first diagnosed, I took the stories and inspiration of a lot of those out there that I have come to admire for being, well like me, I decided on a CGM and now, after nearly 20 years, I am in the best condition I have been in in a long, long, (one more time) LONG time. And I am happy for once.

So to get back to the task at hand; my response would have to be “I have not yet been living a responsible diabetic” lifestyle long enough to make an informed response. I guess I should have started with that.

Until next time…

4th Annual Diabetes Blog Week – 5/13/13 – Day 1

Today’s Prompt:  “Often our health care team only sees us for about 15 minutes several times a year, and they might not have a sense of what our lives are really like. Today, let’s pretend our medical team is reading our blogs. What do you wish they could see about your and/or your loved one’s daily life with diabetes? On the other hand, what do you hope they don’t see?”

I’ll be honest, there’s not too much, at this juncture in my life, that I wish my endo didn’t see.  Today is the first day that I had numbers nearing 300 showing on my Dexcom and I hated it.  Even though there wasn’t so much I could do to stop it at that point, I still felt I was failing today.  I always climb early in the morning.  It’s a certainty.  I will start with a BG and then 1-2 hours later (not eaten breakfast or ingested anything at this point), my sugars will start rising at least 40 points, more if I don’t watch it.  Wasn’t as mindful as I could have been this morning, so by the time I was ready to eat I was already close to 200.  Take my bolus/correction, eat and up, up and away I went.  I knew it was coming, it just didn’t make it any easier.  I couldn’t stand it, so I took a small correction and right as rain, I started falling…a little too much.  And down in the trenches I went.  I’m still trying to hold back on constantly looking at my trend graph to see what’s going on.  Usually I’m good, but sometimes, my OCD self just can’t stand to see the climb on the graph, so I overdo it.  O well.  I do try and that is what matters.

Time for me to start a “new” sensor.  I have just completed 7 days on my very first Dexcom sensor ever and its still sticking strong and continues to be accurate.  I’m not willing to take it off just yet.  I am totally loving it so far and do not know what I did without it (and it’s only been 1 week).  

Until tomorrow’s post, keep on doing what you do, because you are awesome.  Diabetes won’t get the best of me!

It’s Here!! MY Dexcom G4 (Pink, of course) is HERE!!!!

I was like a child waiting for Christmas morning waiting for the FedEx girl to bring my package to my office. (I had to sign for it and didn’t want to take a whole day off work just wait for it, but for the record, I totally would have). Anyways, I couldn’t concentrate for anything. It was sad really, but I had been waiting for what seems like such a long time and the last few hours were definitely the longest. But it finally showed up after lunch and then the next longest wait…the wait for the time to clock out. It finally came and straight home I went. Ate dinner, took a shower and got ready to get my first sensor inserted and get the show on the road. I got out the shower, got everything ready and got it done. I guess I was building it up so much in my head, but it went by pretty easily and surprisingly painless. Now that I think about it, I don’t know why I was expecting it to be a problem. I guess its the whole under-promise and over-deliver thing. Whatever it was, it’s all good. My only regret is that my honey was off at work and won’t be home for more than a week from now. So he didn’t get to see the process, but I’m pretty sure that he will be a pro at the whole thing in no time. It is just one more thing he has to deal since it is now a part of me. I shouldn’t say deal with, but I can’t think of a better way to put it at the moment.
Now I’m in the middle of the two hour start up and now it’s becoming a long two hours so I turned to catch this up and hopefully pass by a little time. Dang it, I do type fast. Blame it on the day job. People tell me all the time that I type fast, even if I am on the phone, the person on the other end will tell me how fast they can hear me typing. I take the compliment and just don’t really realize it until I stop and listen to my fingers on the keys. But, I digress. I’m having attention issues this evening. 🙂 I am looking forward to being able to take a peek into my levels in between finger sticks. I can see it now: I am going to drain the battery the first day because I am going to constantly be checking the dexcom. But hopefully my OCD and Type A personality will get over the newness and the excitement and let the Dex just be another part of my life with diabetes. Only now, hopefully with a little more knowledge and insight on my glucose levels, more than the 5-8 snapshots I see throughout the day. Peace out peeps…Here’s to an awesome first overnight (ok first ever) trend graph. 🙂

This might be too good to be true…my Pink Miracle

I saw my new endo last week. I went because I had that lovely trip to the ER on Easter Sunday morning with a hypo that I didn’t feel and slipped me into unconsciousness, or as they called it and “altered mental status”. Scared the crap out of me and I don’t ever ever want that to happen to me or my loved ones again. I asked about CGMs at my appointment and she was encouraging about them. After I was sent home with some pamphlets and reading materials, I made the choice, on my own, to go for it. It wouldn’t hurt to try it. I called the nurse back and asked what I needed to do to get the show on the road and get everything in motion. All that had to be done was she had to call the rep and have the rep call me and start the paperwork. OK…sounds easy enough. The next afternoon the rep called me and got what he needed from me. I just needed to fill out my insurance info and fax it to him with my cards. Easy enough. Since I was at work, I filled out what I needed to, copied what I needed to and away went the fax. Now they will call my insurance and do all of the leg work for me. This sounds promising. And I don’t want to get too hopeful because nothing has ever happened for me this easily. Especially medically speaking. I am hoping that I get a call with the all clear, and to find out what color G4 (WOO HOO!) that I want ordered and to plan the next step of getting started. By the way….PINK Baby!!!!! So hopefully in the next couple of days or next week I will find out where everything stands. I hope with every ounce that I am, that for once in my life, this will work out for me favorably. I want so much to get better control and right now this is my shot. I was in such denial for a lot of years and now that I want to get myself right and be in control, as much as I can be, I am hoping for my Pink Miracle. 🙂 Until I find out more…all the best…Lainie