Tag Archives: DIABETES;

4th Annual Diabetes Blog Week – 5/15/13 – Day 3

Today’s Prompt:
Today we’re going to share our most memorable diabetes day. You can take this anywhere…. your or your loved one’s diagnosis, a bad low, a bad high, a big success, any day that you’d like to share. (Thanks to Jasmine of Silver-Lined for this topic suggestion.)

My most memorable day in 17+ years in living with Type 1 Diabetes was actually just within the last couple of months. I have touched on this in previous posts, but it is important. I woke up Easter Sunday morning. Thank God that I woke up. I honestly thought I was dreaming. I was laying down, covered by a sheet, almost completely. The sheets were actually covering my eyes. I knew I was waking up though. I remember holding on to the sheets, but not moving them. I remember seeing a post on the wall. I had always been told that you can’t read words or see numbers when you are asleep or dreaming. Which, ok, whatever. But I could read everything on the poster. At that point I realized there was an armband around my wrist. I picked it up to my head so I could read it. Still not moving the sheets mind you. I saw my name and patient code of EMS. I happen to work at this hospital so I knew what it meant and I knew then that it was real. I still didn’t know why I was there though. I sat straight the hell up. I remember them calling my name and telling me to lay back down. “UM, no but thank you. What is going on?” I do remember neither my boyfriend or my mother was there, and I was just lost. I needed someone. They said they were both in the waiting room. “Thanks but get one of them back here, and by the way, how long have I been here?” “Oh only about ten minutes.” Seriously. That’s it. Ok. Well my boyfriend came back and told me what had happened. I was in shock, I really was. He said I was moving around in bed and pretty much hitting him. It woke him up. He definitely realized what was going on and why I was acting like I was. He grabbed my kit and tested my, took a couple of tries, but finally got it. He got readings of 40 mg/dl and thereabouts. He grabbed my glucose gel and tried to get me to take some but even though my eyes were open, no one was home. This didn’t work. He called my mom and she drove over. Keep in mind this is all in the wee hours of the morning. She got in my face and couldn’t get me to respond. That was it. He grabbed me, threw me over his shoulder, and brought me to the ER. We were literally minutes away and 911 would have taken forever and a day, plus he knew I would be pissed if I found out I was brought over in an ambulance for some reason.
At any rate, this day will not soon fade from my memory. And I am more grateful than words could ever express that he was home when I needed him. See, he works as an engineer offshore. So he is only home with me for half of our lives together. I don’t know what I would have done without him. I just know I would have been another case of the increasing cases of “Dead in Bed” that is coming up more and more. It’s just unthinkable how fortunate I am to have him. And I try to let him know that every chance I get. He has stuck with me for nearly 10 years now, and I can only pray that he keeps putting up with me and everything that is entailed of my complicated crap disease. I, also am greatfull to the ER doc and the nurses that finally were able to find a line to give me emergency medications via IV. “Did you know you have no veins?” No, really tell me more.

4th Annual Diabetes Blog Week – 5/1413 -Day 2

Today’s prompt: Recently various petitions have been circulating the Diabetes Online Community, so today let’s pretend to write our own. Tell us who you would write the petition to – a person, an organization, even an object (animate or inanimate) – get creative!! What are you trying to change and what have you experienced that makes you want this change? (Thanks to Briley of inDpendence for this topic suggestion.)

I have to admit, I’m either completely out of creativeness or a completely bring person. I’ll be honest. There isn’t too much I would change at the moment. Even though my life with T1D is now approaching it’s 17th year anniversary, for most of it I was in complete denial and didn’t care. I took my shots, usually, but I never and I honestly mean never checked my blood sugars. Quite frankly, contemplating on the past, I am damn lucky to even be alive. I had an awakening. I was happy, really, in the past. I stayed decently thin. I never had to exercise, or for that matter watch what I ate. Nothing, and stayed thin. Didn’t give a damn that I was probably doing irreversible damage to my body. But for a good 10+ years I lived like this. How could I not. Positive reinforcement was abundant, even though it was coming from people who had no earthly idea that I was suffering from what they now call diabulemia. I had learned to live with always having something to drink nearby. Learned to deal with always bring tired. Learned to live and deal with it all. My awakening came when I was so deeply into a severe metabolic acidosis or severe DKA. I knew it, I just didn’t want to admit it. I went to work, because I never called in sick, like ever. One Friday afternoon after getting off from work, I could not breathe. My mother noticed it. She said lets go to the ER. No really I was fine. I couldn’t even walk to the car. I finally surrendered. I knew I was dead over the weekend if I didn’t do something. I went to the ER, was admitted to ICU and several days later, I was able to go home again. I finally at the ago of 30 and after 10-15 years of denial and ignoring what I didn’t want to acknowledge, it was over. I grew up. I took responsibility for me. I went to the doctor regularly. I got my regular labs. I was a “good diabetic” for the first time since high school. All went well. Until about six weeks ago. Wake up in the ER from a severe nocturnal hypoglycemic episode. CRAP. Well that’s what happens I guess. After I delved into the vast DOC that is here now, non-existent when I was first diagnosed, I took the stories and inspiration of a lot of those out there that I have come to admire for being, well like me, I decided on a CGM and now, after nearly 20 years, I am in the best condition I have been in in a long, long, (one more time) LONG time. And I am happy for once.

So to get back to the task at hand; my response would have to be “I have not yet been living a responsible diabetic” lifestyle long enough to make an informed response. I guess I should have started with that.

Until next time…

Well THAT Most Definitely Scared the Stuff Out of Me

I went to bed Saturday night, at a respectable blood sugar of 94. I wake up this morning and it takes me a minute to realize where I am. I most definitely was not at home in my bed. I was in the ER! Wait, what?? What the hell happened?? I didn’t remember ANYTHING. And that scared me more than anything. Apparently, my sugars crashed last night. (STILL trying to figure out what happened). So the story goes, I apparently dropped, and that didn’t wake me up. So I guess, I was starting to throw some punches and kicks and woke up my boyfriend. After he woke, he figured out what was going on, tested my sugar, and found me to be at 44. Verified that with another one, this time 40. Apparently I was completely out of it. And also not willing to cooperate. He tried to get me to take glucose gel, which even though it doesn’t taste bad anymore, I was still having none of it. My eyes were open, but I wasn’t there. He called my mom, who is about 5 minutes away, to come help. Keep in mind this is all about 430am-500am. After she got there, they discovered the emergency Glucagon was expired and that was it…in the car he plopped me and to the ER we went. I woke up very shortly thereafter and when I figured out after a minute where I was and what happened, I was scared. Not so much that I dropped. Not at all. It happens. But when it does, I KNOW that it happens. I feel it, I test, I treat and I’m good. Even if it is in the middle of the night, I somehow wake up on my own and am able to treat myself. I have NEVER had this happen to me, EVER. And that is what scared the crap out of me. I hadn’t had a CLUE of what happened, no recollection, nothing, nada, zip. The ONLY thing I could even possibly think of is that when I dropped, I was in that deep of a sleep, that I didn’t wake. But who knows. Maybe it was a fluke.
No new meds, same doses, same everything. I tested no less that I test on any given day. I didn’t do any more work than usual…Nothing…
After 16+ years of T1D, this is the first time this happened. I don’t guess that’s too bad. Hopefully it is the last.
I guess what bothers me the fact that I had to depend on someone else to take care of me, and today, to save my life. I’ve always been able to do this on my own if I had to. I’ve always had people there for me, but I did everything myself.
I am going to back Lantus down a couple units until I get to see my doc and level me out. I have been slightly lower than normal, but nothing to warrant this, at all.
I’ve been contemplating a CGM of some sort for a while now, and I think I am going to finally do it. This might have been the push I needed.
It just goes to show you, you can do everything right, follow every rule, and diabetes doesn’t always do the same for you. Just a little fairness is all I ask. But some days, like today, I think its just a little too much to ask.
And as silly as it might sound, I am actually scared to go to bed tonight.

Okie Dokie Then….

So yeah, its been more than a little while since I have made myself sit down and get a post out. It’s the cliche “there’s just not enough hours in the day”. And somehow, it’s true, there truly just aren’t most days. Yeah, I know there are a lot of fellow PWDs with blogs out there that I enjoy following and actually do so on a fairly regular basis. Believe you me, I know they are a lot busier than I am. I just find it amazingly hard to make myself stop and take time for ME to get my thoughts, emotions and everything else in my life with insulin dependent diabetes.
The holidays went by fairly well. My sugar’s behaved as well as I could expect. More normal results that abnormal ones.
I did get to have my honey home for both Christmas and New Year’s, which is the first time we have had both together in the 10+ Christmas holiday seasons that we have been together. That was a gift in itself, truly. But my actual present from him was just as good. He gave me a car. My FIRST car that was actually mine, all mine. Still, almost two months later, I still can’t believe it. No, it wasn’t a new car, it was his car that he gave to me when he bought a new car for himself (which I didn’t know about until I was given his as my gift). At any rate, it is new to me and I could care less that it’s used. At least I know who the owner was and how well it was taken care of, etc. etc. He teased me about it for weeks and apparently had been planning it for months. He would give me hints, all without telling a lie, and always keeping me in the dark. “It will all make sense when you get your present.” OK…I got “it’s something you truly truly want, but would never ever ask for”. Well all this was true when I finally opened a small wrapped box, that had been filled with a weight to really throw me off, and saw the car keys. I can honestly say that I was completely surprised and totally in shock and awe. Everything I was being given as hints finally did fall into place. So I spent Christmas shopping for insurance and looking into title, registration and all that other legal crud, then after that I made it mine. Legally and literally. I “girled it up” a little bit. I didn’t go over the top…at least not yet. A license plate cover, a touch here, a touch there and it is finally something I can say that is mine.
Not too long after Christmas, he went back off to, immediately after I get the flu and am down with that for several days, but was still not feeling back to normal for a couple weeks. By blood sugars sure knew I was sick, which I knew they would. I knew why they would jump and hover where I didn’t want them to be, but that didn’t make it any easier to accept. I am one that wants to keep my numbers as close to “normal” as I can be. So seeing my number climb even though I was doing everything correct, I never did anything I shouldn’t have, was extremely frustrating to say the least. Eventually I starting feeling better and numbers finally started to normalize. I finally was no longer ticked off at my body for being sick…and life goes on.
So about a month later and we are approaching the almighty commercial holiday that is Valentine’s. Something that honestly we never really celebrated, and I am totally fine with that. I made no plans other than to get him maybe a little box of candy for the day he came home from work (actually V-Day itself). When off to work he goes today and asks me when Valentine’s is…um ok….”it’s next Thursday, the day you come home”…”OK good, I already got your present.”… Seriously? We don’t do Valentine’s…I love buying gifts for people, but this isn’t one we normally do. So off I go this weekend to shop…don’t mind that either by the way 🙂
O well…I think I’ve been all over the place tonight and had filled in the last couple months nicely. Hopefully I can plant myself down here in before another two months go by.

Mini Meltdown

I guess I kind of went against my own “words of wisdom” when after saying, don’t let the little things get you down, I did.

I guess it was more of a bunch of little things that just all came to a point.  It was, “look at all these different types of oreos, and look at these marshmallows. they are square to fit on a cracker…”  Then made and ate in front of me a mini chocolate cake.  All of this was in the course of one afternoon.  Starting with going out to dinner at one of our favorite go-to’s, that turned out to be the worst experiences we ever had there.  This is always a place that is awesome.  So that started the pile o’ straws that would break me that day.  After getting home from eating, we stopped at the store.  This started the “look at all the stuff you shouldn’t eat” montage.  Then finally ending with nice, sweet. rich chocolate cake being consumed in full smelling range.  Don’t get me wrong, I am fine with someone eating something I can’t.  I’ve done it my whole life and it never really bothered me.  Still doesn’t.  BUt something about it that day, I couldn’t take anything else being put in my face that I knew I couldn’t have.

So I broke down like a child.  I got asked something, or something was said to me, at this point I don’t even remember.  And at that moment, I just started bawling like I haven’t in years.  Maybe it wasn’t everything that happened, thats just what put me over the emotional edge.  It was one of those events that I couldn’t catch my breath because I was hyperventilating.  And in 5 minutes it was over and I couldn’t reason with myself why I was so upset.

And as I think back at it and any other mini meltdown that occurs, I do know that it wasn’t and never is any one thing that upsets me.  I realize how emotionally, physically, mentally draining and it is ok to have moments when its ok to not be so happy happy joy joy.  Here’s to a better today, tomorrow, and on and on.